A good friend of our family died suddenly and unexpectedly last week. It’s tempting to trot out that old saying:
“Don’t cry because it’s over!
Smile because it happened!”
Ludwig Jacobowski
If we hadn’t had his many years of love and friendship we wouldn’t feel this sad, so we should be grateful he was in our lives at all. Anyone who’s experienced grief, though, will know it’s not always that easy.
Gratitude is hard when things are tough. Whether we’re riding waves of grief, battling chronic pain or waiting interminably for a transplant that may never arrive, finding things to be grateful for can feel like a fool’s errand.
The trick, I’ve discovered, is to find the smallest possible thing to be grateful for.
Be grateful for the phone in your hand that lets you distract yourself from difficulty on TikTok, or for the chair you’re sitting in while you’re doing it. Be grateful for the tea you’re drinking, or the mug you’re drinking it from. Be grateful for the pen you’re writing with, or the computer that lets you buy a condolence card without going to a shop.
Gratitude isn’t reserved for big things. Once we know that, we can find it wherever we look, even if our eyes are clouded by tears.