Some days are easier than others, that’s pretty clear after all the months I’ve been scribbling these bits and pieces for myself and whoever happens to be passing to peruse. But while a day may not have been as good as the day before it, at least you can rely on the laughably awful local newspaper to make you giggle through anything.
It is, quite possibly, the worst newspaper in the history of publishing – it would be laughed out of Fleets Street and probably still raise quite a few disparaging chuckles from Sesame Street. It’s pathethic, lazy journalism with hardly a hint of any sub-editing. But boy, does it make me laugh.
Take today’s issue, which landed on my doormat this morning. The lead story was about a pensioner who’s been BANNED from his golf club for using his own buggy. Or at least that’s what the headline leads you to believe. Actually, he’s bought himself a golf buggy to save money on hiring one from the club and they’ve told him he can’t use it because they’re not insured for it.
Laughable health and safety procedures, yes, but hardly the totally-out-of-order disability-discrimination they’re trying to make it out to be. Sure, I feel sorry for the old fella: it’s not cheap to hire buggies. But honestly, it’s hardly the meanest, nastiest thing in the world, is it? It’s a bunch of silly rules which have upset a pensioner.
It gets better, though. How about the article (or is it just an advert) about the new flats going up in Bletchley. With over half still on the market, you too can share the AMAZING views of Milton Keynes from your living room window. It’s even illustrated with a picture of the amazing view: IKEA. Well, IKEA, ASDA, the new footie stadium, downtown Bletchley and some trees. Not exactly the inspiring penthouse vista that you might have anticipated.
I’m consistently amazed and amused at the hilariously low quality of the rag (it really is a rag), and it’s collection of “human interest” stories which get published every week. I suppose I shouldn’t be railing against it quite so much as I have, on occasion, been known to use it myself as a voice of publicity for the various campaigns I get involved in. But even then they managed to spell my name differently in the main article than from the headline. Awesome.
I honestly don’t know if it’s just that MK doesn’t have enough in the way of “news” to make it interesting, or if there’s a genuine total lack of decent editorial leadership, sub-editing or reporting skills, but whatever it is, the paper is worth more as a source of entertainment than as a source of information on the city.
Oh the joys of having very little to do: you do get to see some wonderful things.