Another good day today, and another day of what economists term “positive growth” – although I have to say I wish that referred to my personal economics rather than the state of my chest.
Actually, I take that back – I’d take empty bank over knackered blowers any day of the week. Still, it’s got to show how much things have improved over the last week or so that I can actually write half a paragraph complaining about lack of funds as opposed to anything health-related. What a relief. I think.
Having spent a week away from K, it’s been absolutely lovely to finally spend some time together yesterday and today. She’s been so amazingly supportive and has been there for me all the way through and has also dealt superbly well with not being there when I needed it, which I know from personal experience isn’t an easy thing to do.
While I’m on the subject of support, though, I’ve been blown away by all the messages of support I’ve had from people reading this blog – it really is something else.
It’s a remarkable feeling to know that you’re loved and thought of by people all over the world (and it really has been from all over) and I want to say that every single one of your messages have made a huge difference in encouraging me and keeping me going when the times have got really tough recently.
As a side note, those of you who’ve been emailing me at my onetel account, I have to apologise for lack of responses, because I can’t access my emails from Mum and Dad’s. I went back to the flat for the first time in a couple of weeks today and was there long enough to check my mail and discover a whole raft of messages to which I want to reply but didn’t have the time. So please excuse my rubbishness, but I will get back to you, I promise!
As far as today goes, I’ve had a lovely day of chilling out and relaxing. This morning, after sleeping in nicely till 11ish (caused mostly by poor sleep and drug-related tiredness), K and I were visited by S&S, no longer the newest double-team on the block, but happily still going strong.
It’s been a while since I caught up with them, so it was good to have tea and chats and to humiliate myself with my awful knowledge of music while we channel-surfed through MTV, VH1, TMF, Q and other letters.
When they’d gone and we’d had a nice big bacon sarnie lunch with Mum and Dad, with super-fresh bakery bread, I did my drugs and caught a cat-nap before K and I ventured out in the car for a bit of a spin and stopped over at the flat, where I checked my mail and gathered a few bits and pieces to keep me occupied at home for tonight and the week ahead.
It was good to get out of the house properly for a bit and I was impressed at my discipline in again not pushing myself too far in trying to do too much.
Our friends at The Lodge, including the aforementioned S&S, D and PS are throwing a Dirty C Word Hawaiin Luau at their place tonight, which I really wanted to pop my head into, not least because it was at least partly motivated as an opporunity for K to get out to. But it would have been doing too much and I doubt I’d have managed to stay for just the quick “hi” and “bye” that I’d wanted to because I’d have had so much catching up and gossiping to do.
Mum’s got all of her book group over for the night tonight, but I’m shutting myself away upstairs and being anti-social. Although I get on well with Mum’s friends, I’m just not sure I’m up to maintaining conversation with big groups of people at the moment, so I thought it best to opt myself out of it and sequester myself in my room with Dad’s laptop on wi-fi and today’s papers to keep me occupied.
I’m sure I’ll soon have my Social Strength back up to full-speed, but like everything I’m working with at the moment, I’m trying not to take too big steps too quickly. Slow and steady wins the race, as someone once said about something to someone.
Profound, that.