This week has been really hard going. I think the early mornings getting K off to uni have really caught up with me and helped me to realise that I’ve been taking on too much at once and that I need to be careful and be more aware of the balance between working hard and doing what I want to be doing and giving myself enough time to rest and recuperate from the exertions I’m putting myself through.
Interestingly, it feels like it’s been a hard week, but actually I’ve rested myself more this week than I have for a long time. Monday was the first day “off” I’ve had in two weeks – the first day I’ve had nothing in my diary to do and could just veg out on the sofa and not do very much. It was bliss, but like most times when you’ve been going flat-out for a while as soon as I stopped I started to feel it.
So although I’ve done less this week than the last couple of months, I’ve actually felt worse for it as my body caught on to the fact that I was in slow-down and took the time it needed to re-boot itself and re-set itself to factory settings so I don’t start next week already way behind on my sleep and energy levels.
I remember way back before my transplant writing on here about finding the right balance between doing things and saving some energy and I’m kind of back in that situation again now. Although I have more energy than I used to have (inexpressibly more), I still only have a finite amount. I need to remember that although my reseres are higher, empty is still empty whether you’re a 7-stone CF-ridden weakling or an Olympic athlete – there’s no going on when the body’s at the bottom of the red zone.
So here’s to a New Year’s resolution a few months in advance – I will do my best to maintain a healthy balance between work, play and rest; attempt at all times to ensure I have enough in my tank to handle what I have taken on; and not take on things that I know are likely to drop me into an avoidable red zone.
And I’ll try to blog more.