Archives: success

Everyone has a story. If you’re sitting there thinking to yourself, “But I don’t,” – you’re wrong.

If someone asks you where you were born, do you have any brothers or sisters, what you do for a living, you answer them with the start of a story.

How you got to where you are today is your story. Everything we do in life is part of our story, each individual moment just waiting to be put into the context of a whole life.

So don’t try to tell me you don’t have a story.

How interesting your story is depends on many things, not least how good you are at telling it. In the hands of a masterful storyteller even the most uneventful of stories can be fascinating; the phone book can surpass War and Peace.

But stories also depend on living a life worth telling people about.

That doesn’t mean we all have to drop everything and go skydiving or bungee jumping just to have a story to tell. A life worth talking about is simply a life filled with rich experiences, things that make us grow and develop as people, whether they’re good or bad.

Vulnerability can be one of the most powerful storytelling devices. We’ve all read (and got bored with) stories of people doing amazing things, of achieving incredible heights in their lives, or splashing their success on fast cars and globe-trotting. But failing creates powerful stories, too.

Stories are all about connection – connection between the teller and the listener (or reader, or viewer) – and connection comes from creating emotional empathy. So making yourself vulnerable and sharing the things that haven’t gone so well is something we can all relate to: at some point or another we have all failed.

It’s that connection that I love most about stories. They give us the benefit of other people’s experiences to empathise with and learn from. I get so inspired by other people’s stories and I love to share both theirs and mine with the world.

I would love for Smile Through It to become a place for stories of change, of people who are embracing their second chance at life regardless of whether it came about through a huge, dramatic, external force (like mine), or through sheer force of will where they recognised a need to change and set about doing it.

Do you have a story to tell (see above: of course you do). Email me and let me know; I’d love to share it with my readers.

Do you really “gotta fake it ’til you make it”?

The truth is, when you put on the façade of confidence to give yourself a boost, you’re not actually faking it at all – you’re accessing your inner confidence and bringing it to the front.

Everyone has confidence. Each of us have something in our lives – even if it’s just one, tiny thing – that we know in our heart of hearts we’re good at. Something that gives us that often-elusive state of flow whenever we are engaged in it.

The process of faking it is, in fact, a process of accessing our inner confidence through physical and emotional triggers that put our minds and bodies into the feeling of that flow state.

The next time you’re finding yourself in a situation where you’re trying to posture yourself into a major confidence boost, remember: you are not faking it, you’re simply accessing and living your inner confidence. Where that confidence takes you is entirely up to you.

Thanks to the great Chris Richards for helping me realise all of this.

Many of us have had a taste of success. Some of us dine on it frequently, for others it’s a rare treat. What it does is to help us all feel like we’re doing what we should be in life.

Too often, though, we define ourselves by how we feel. We even decline things by saying, “I just don’t feel like it today” – we put so much stock in feelings that we don’t stop to look at what and who we actually are.

This quote got me thinking:

It’s not about feeling like a filmmaker, it’s about being a filmmaker.

Drake Doremus, The Wrap

Doremus is talking about filmmaking and how it’s better to shoot for a lower target budget in order to be able to make films as opposed to holding out for the mega-budget and never actually making anything. It’s also about how the trappings of a “big” production don’t make the film, it’s the kit, the crew and the cast who make a film what it is.

It’s time for us all to stop chasing the “feel” and start “being” what we want to be – filmmakers, entrepreneurs, writers, artists; we all have goals and we all want to achieve them, but if we set about doing the things we need to do to get there, no matter what, we’ll arrive and find success much quicker than doing all the things that make us “feel” like we think we ought to.

Struggle with getting down to work some days? Most days? Every day?

If you’re trying to think creatively and get yourself into the right mood, but can’t seem to settle your brain to the task in hand, you need to create yourself an inspiration pathway.

IP’s (as I like to call them1 ) are a form of hypnotic process that allows you to reach the right state of flow to achieve your creative goals.

We all recognise the feeling: when you’re reading the blog of an inspirational online mentor (Tim Ferriss, for me); listening to that track that gives you goosebumps; sitting in that perfect spot that fills you with feelings of limitless ability and peacefulness. The trick is to find a way to tap into that feeling and apply it to your work routine.

By recreating that feeling of invincibility – of total creative power and freedom – you can access the flow state that will see you glide through the challenges that face you over the next couple of hours, or the ten pages, or that sales call to your dream client.

If you’re trigger is musical, so much the better – just hit ‘Play’ and take yourself there. For other triggers, find a way to access them each and every day when you sit at your desk to get cracking.  Bookmark a favourite post or posts, stimulate your sense and psych yourself into inspiring yourself to make the most of your day.

Inspire yourself and you’ll reach new heights you never imagined.

What lights your inspiration candle? How do you help yourself reach a state of flow when you sit down to work in the morning (or afternoon, or whenever you do your best work)?

1. since it takes too long to type inspiration pathway every time [↩]

I rarely give things up for Lent. A few years ago, I gave up going into hospital , but that one didn’t last, thanks to those pesky medical people trying to keep me alive.

This year, though, I’m vowing to give up the fear of failure.

Too many of life’s decisions are governed by the “what if it all goes wrong?” question or “what if I look silly for trying it?”. Too often we skip over great opportunities because we can’t immediately see how to make them work and we worry about what it’ll look like to our friends, colleagues and clients if they don’t.

So this month I’m going to enter into every project with a sense of the infinite possibilities as opposed to the dread of defeat.

That’s not to say that I will be hurling myself into projects willy-nilly. Fear of failure is very different to realistic expectations for the success of a project and if it doesn’t make financial (or time-cost) sense, then it will remain on the back-burner for the time being.

What are you going to commit yourself to for Lent? What are you afraid of failing? Announce yourself here – loud and proud – and we’ll all keep tabs on each other.

There are two great articles I want to highlight today, from two Twitter/LSWF buddies of mine.

Daniel Martin Eckhart writes on his blog about what it takes to make it as a screenwriter, his biggest insight (and no doubt point of debate) being:

The two most essential elements for a screenwriters are discipline and stamina. Talent is a distant third.

Daniel Martin Eckhart, Write, write, write.

Lucy V Hay, of Bang2Write fame, then goes a little further in her post, which references Daniel’s, talking about the paradox of the lucky/unlucky writer:

You’ll get no argument from when if you’re of the belief it’s TOTALLY about hard work, first and foremost; I think it’s important to recognise our own success as a writer will come as a direct result of that. However, I also think it’s important to realise it *could* have worked out very differently, despite our best efforts.

Lucy V Hay, write here, write now

What do you think? What makes a writer successful? Luck, timing, talent, hard work? All of the above?

Mashable.com carried this article yesterday. The intro sums it up perfectly:

Good, smart, fun and relevant content should be at the core of any social media strategy. Great content should reflect your brand and give people a reason to stay engaged.

Frank Marquardt, Mashable.com