Archives: children

It’s odd that I loathe Valentine’s day as much as I do and yet always really like Mothers’ Day. I hate being told when to express my love for my wife, and yet I love that there’s a whole day devoted to mums. Feels weird.

But it was lovely to see and spend time with both of my mums – Mummy L (mine) and Mummy H (K’s) – and to let them know how much we appreciate them and everything they have done and continue to do to support us and show their love to us. I like to think they know that we love them and appreciate them every day, but just in case we bought them both flowers and had a lovely Mothers’ Day cuppa with them to say thank you.

It’s also a day I reflect on all those people who are desperate to be mums but aren’t because quirks of fate have taken that chance away from them for one of very many reasons. Those mourning the loss of a baby, those trying so hard to have one and those who know they will never be able. All of these people are always in my thoughts on Mothers’ Day even while we smile and enjoy the mums we’ve got.

What did you do for you mum today?

They say ignorance is bliss and, quite often, I’m inclined to agree.

Last Friday, we had the misfortune of attending the funeral of the baby boy of a very close friend of ours. He lived a matter of hours and the beautiful, emotional service proved – if there were ever any doubt – that there is little in life more powerfully heart-wrenching than the sight of a coffin that can be carried by one person.

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Just before the end of the year, I headed up to Stafford to see one of my oldest friends in Panto. I have a real soft-spot for Panto; it’s silly, it’s fun and it’s the kind of show that can get a whole family cheering, booing and singing along with the broadest grins on their faces. And, as an ex-theatre man, anything that puts bums on seats is great by me.

For my overseas readers, Panto (or Pantomime, to give it its full title), is a peculiarly English tradition of theatre where the lead boy is usually played by a girl, the main comic character is a man in drag and the plot is usually taken from a fairy story, historical events or classic children’s tale. And yes, it’s for kids.

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When I used to work as a workshop assistant and, later, as part of several different Youth Theatre companies around my home town, I remember thinking that adults really ought to spend more time learning from children.

The amazing thing about children is the way they prioritise their lives. To a four-year-old child the thing that matters more than anything else in the world is whatever they happen to be doing at any given moment.

Their play isn’t hampered by when they have to stop and go home. The tears that come when told they have to leave come and go in a matter of minutes. The time they spend with a parent is all-encompassing, as is the time they spend with their friends, siblings and others.

We all work busily on different ways to prioristise our days, to keep ahead of the curve and up-to-date on everything that’s going on around us, but maybe we should be more like children.

Instead of constantly worrying about what’s coming next, perhaps we should put more effort into being truly mindful of one thing at a time.

Try it yourself, see how much richer it makes your life and work.

Stop writing an email with Twitter open.

Stop pausing while you review documents to read the updates in your Facebook feed.

Stop thinking about what you need to do next or when you have to be up in the morning while you’re relaxing and cuddling on the sofa with your loved one(s).

Be present, be focussed and be four years old again. It’s remarkable when you make the effort.

This weekend, I will be thinking of all those mothers in the world without their children.

This weekend, I will be thinking of all those children in the world without their mothers.

This weekend, I will be thinking of all those who would love to be sharing the same moments with their mother as I will be with mine, but who are unable.

This weekend, remember that it’s good to be grateful and thankful for the family you have; there are far too many people who haven’t.