It may seem strange to some people, but I’m genuinely grateful for having cystic fibrosis.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wake up in the morning, leap out of bed and proclaim to the world, “What a wonderful morning,my lungs are going to kill me!”
But the most formative and transformative experiences of my life have happened only because of this condition.
CF has taught me the true meaning of friendship
When I was at school, probably only 11 or 12 years-old, and I told a new person I’d met that I had CF, she went away to the library (yes, I’m so old she couldn’t Google it) and researched what it is, what it means and how she could best support me. She’s still one of my closest friends.
Friends like the ones who stood by me at school and through everything I’ve experienced, missed out on and enjoyed since, have shown me what true friendship really means.
CF taught me how not to take life too seriously
It taught me the Smile Through It principle, which I still live by today. Even on our worst days, if you can find one thing to make you smile then it’s been a worthwhile day — and you’d be surprised how easy it can be to find just one thing.
CF has taught me that nothing in life is guaranteed
It showed me that what’s true today may be false tomorrow; what’s working now may not work next week. It’s taught me to enjoy what we have while we have it, and to be grateful to have had it when it’s gone.
CF has shown me that there is more to life
People spend their time getting uppity about everything these days. Everything seems to cause offence, indignation or outrage. People barge to the front of a queue, cram onto a tube or get angry at the people around them, but it’s just not worth it. I’ve learned to be happy to wait for the next train, be five minutes later than planned and not get upset about it.
CF has taught me the meaning and value of love
It’s taught me how to love and support my wife, it’s taught me how to value time with my family and friends, it’s taught me gratitude for their presence in my life and how they help shape my outlook.
CF has connected me to so many wonderful people
I’ve met famous people, become friends with people I’d never have met had it not been for CF or transplant, and enabled me to meet some people who truly inspire me, both with CF and without. I’ve been introduced to new worlds of people, places, things and experiences that I would never have enjoyed were it not for CF or transplant.
CF has taught me compassion for other people’s problems
Before my transplant I remember the effort that used to go into not getting angry when people say “Oh, yeah, I’ve got a bit of a cough, too,” or that they had also been waiting for ages for their knee/hip/elbow operation and wasn’t it just the worst?
Now, I can see that everyone has problems and nothing is big or small unless you make it so. Compassion lets you see things and not judge them, but rather support people when they need it.
How can I possibly look at this list of things and not be grateful?
There are so many people in my life I miss. So many people I’ve been connected to through CF or through transplant and who are no longer with us. And that’s deeply, deeply upsetting.
But they are people I had the chance to know, people I had the chance to learn from, people who helped make me the person I am today because they were a part of my life.
So thank you to Gary, Rich, Emily, Jo, Toria, Katie, Anders, Pete, Gareth, Theo, Jayne, Alice, Jess, Lucy, Jack and so many others for being part of my life. I know we’ll meet again — hopefully not too soon — and we’ll have one almighty party in a place where cross-infection poses no risks.
Cystic fibrosis has made me the man I am today, and you know what? I quite like me, actually.
This post first appeared on Medium as part of a five-part series for CF Week 2016.