Archives: Life

Do you really “gotta fake it ’til you make it”?

The truth is, when you put on the façade of confidence to give yourself a boost, you’re not actually faking it at all – you’re accessing your inner confidence and bringing it to the front.

Everyone has confidence. Each of us have something in our lives – even if it’s just one, tiny thing – that we know in our heart of hearts we’re good at. Something that gives us that often-elusive state of flow whenever we are engaged in it.

The process of faking it is, in fact, a process of accessing our inner confidence through physical and emotional triggers that put our minds and bodies into the feeling of that flow state.

The next time you’re finding yourself in a situation where you’re trying to posture yourself into a major confidence boost, remember: you are not faking it, you’re simply accessing and living your inner confidence. Where that confidence takes you is entirely up to you.

Thanks to the great Chris Richards for helping me realise all of this.

You’ll remember that my Lent resolution this year to give up fear, inspired by my Twitter-buddy Jeanne who consistently inspires people with her utter lack of fear and her stubborn unwillingness to give in to it at any point.

Giving up on fear is at once much, much harder than you may first think and much, much easier, too.

–The Easy–

It’s easy to ‘say’ you’re giving up fear. It’s definitely a plus to be able to get the words out and feel emboldened by the commitment you’ve just made.

It’s easy to stop yourself fearing the everyday kind of things that used to bug you – it’s a conscious choice whether you’re going to allow yourself to worry about how you pay the bills or if your energy is better focused on how to generate the income that’s going to cover them. A fact that’s especially true for freelancers like me without a steady paycheque1.

It’s easy to take advantage of the initial freedom that giving up fear brings you. It’s easy to float yourself away from the day-to-day issues and focus on your fear-free living–for the first week or so.

–The Hard–

It’s hard to genuinely beat your brain into submission when it tries to stir the old fear about those everyday items you shrugged off in the euphoria of your first few days or weeks. The rumbling in your subconscious feels like it’s never going to go away.

It’s hard to tackle the “new-found” fears that crop up without your being able to plan for them. You land a new job and you’re suddenly worried about being “the new guy”. How will you fit in, will you get on with your co-workers, will you be good at your job? All these things that life throws at us are wont to prompt a significant rise in our fear levels that isn’t easy to ignore.

It’s hard knowing that this new way of life is forever. There’s really no point in giving up fear for a few weeks or a month2 – it’s a lifetime commitment. And that is scary.

–But, But, But–

When you’re successful, when you manage to rise above your fear, to master it, control it and stop it from being the boss of you, it becomes very, very difficult to revert back to your old ways. The idea of being scared becomes almost laughable when you think of your old fear of making that phone call, or attending that networking event on your tod or of introducing yourself to the hottie across the room who’s been making eyes at you all night.

When you truly commit to stepping up to the plate and facing Fear’s most crippling fastball, you can do so in the knowledge that you’ll swing for it, you’ll hit it and you’ll be running for home before you can say “I’m scared of getting my kit dirty”.

1. or paycheck for our American cousins [↩]
2. or 40 days [↩]

A large part of our lives is taken up looking for new and exciting things to do; peering into the future to see what we could be doing six months, a year, five years from now.

I see things differently. Perhaps because of the perspective two-and-a-half years on the transplant list gave me – knowing little else from sitting, getting worse and waiting for (a) death or (b) a second chance – I don’t see the point in looking that far into the future. Six months is about my limit.

Even now, my fiancée is being incredibly patient as we try to plan our wedding for July 2012. I’m just about grasping it, but it’s a long way off.

I prefer to live a life that focuses not necessarily on the cliché-heavy ‘here-and-now’, but rather on the soon-to-be. Not focusing on what I dream of down the line, but on the actions – however small – I can take now to take a step closer to those dreams.

As I move forward in my own, personal brave new world, I’m already committing to things, exploring things and taking action to make them happen.

If your life is full of things you’d love to do ‘some day’, be they personal, professional or otherwise, now is the time to take the next step, the next action and set the wheels in motion for whatever it is you most want to pursue.

Just because it’s not laid on a plate, doesn’t mean it’s not there for the taking.

I’ve now been blogging in various guises since 2006, initially charting my transplant journey, both pre and post, then moving on to cover more to do with my day-to-day life, work and career. Then this blog turned into more of a business-orientated blog looking at social media and productivity, among other things.

There Is No Answer is a natural (or at least natural-feeling) evolution of that blog based on where I am in life today.

Over the last three months various occurrences ((some of which I’ve blogged about, some I haven’t)) have, erm, occurred in my life to make me rethink and re-evaluate life, the universe and everything1.

Here’s a small selection of things I’ve learned about myself – and others – in that process:

1. I’m both far more fragile and far more resilient than I thought. That may seem oxymoronic, but my physical and emotional fragility were highlighted and tested by last month’s brain haemorrhage, pushing me into dark places of acceptance I didn’t want to go, but followed by the embracing of a new way of doing things, a new world order applicable only to the oliverse.
2. Failure is fine. It’s taken me over 29 years to finally accept it, but failing is a far bigger part of success than getting things right is.
3. Friends are those who you know will be there no matter what. I’ve learned some hard lessons about friendship in the last few months and had to face the loss of some people who have previously played a very large part in my life. But while my life has moved on, I’m not sure theirs has and that chasm is apparently too far to bridge.
4. There is always something else. For better and worse, there will always be a new challenge to face as soon as you surmount the previous one, but there will always been just as sweet a reward for tackling the next one.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, There Is No Answer. Nothing we do will ever be 100% right, but little that we do can ever be entirely wrong. Understanding – and embracing – the world’s lack of order is key to getting the most out of each and every day we’re here.

There Is No Answer is a call to everyone – artists, filmmakers, entrepreneurs, mothers, fathers, husbands and wives, dogs, dingos and donkeys – to embrace the knowledge that life is not a zero-sum game; it’s a multiple choice test that will only ever be marked by ourselves.

This blog will aim to highlight all those little things that can make life and work easier, more immediate, more fun and more enlightening. I am to lead the way in embracing the answer-less society by putting myself in the kinds of situations I feared before and pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone as I design and style a new life for myself.

Each day of my life is dedicated to the donor whose most generous of gifts allows me to be here today. I intend to honour their memory by living the life I want, the way I want with the people I want. Nothing more, nothing less.

Care to join me? Don’t worry, there is no answer.

1. thanks to Douglas Adams for that one [↩]

One of the interesting things about taking on a challenge like #Trust30 is the imperative to create.

Normally, we create out of a desire, out of inspiration that comes in many different forms, whether it be business ideas, marketing concepts or works of art.  By being part of a month-long initiative to create something every day, the onus is switched from inspiration to perspiration – we are forced to work to conjure something to post or begin.

Of course, creation-to-order is nothing new – media and ad agencies1 develop fresh, innovative ideas every day, under pressures from clients only too happy to take their business elsewhere if they’re are unimpressed.

So can creativity be forced? Is it possible to access the hidden banks of ideas in our heads to keep the creativity waterfall flowing, or are the people who do it day-in, day-out simply overwhelmingly talented and in touch with their creative hemisphere in their heads?

Truly creative people are able to create from nothing in an instant. It may not be a polished, finished product or idea, but their brains work in such a way as to always be able to supply something. But I also believe that there’s no such thing as a “non-creative” – everyone is capable of it, one just needs to learn how to harness the creative muscle and make it work for you like anything else.

1. as TinyButMighty is evolving into [↩]

Yesterday I pledged myself to taking part in the Domino Project, Ralph Waldo Emerson-inspired #Trust30 project to create something new everyday.

As I headed to bed this evening, it occurred to me that I hadn’t written anything on the blog today. Sure, I busied myself with updating and catching up on The Indie Film Hub, which had also been hit by my minor health detour last week, but did that qualify under #Trust30 rules?

What is “creation” – how do we define it? How do I define it is probably the more pertinent question; the one thing we can safely say about all art and creativity is that it’s entirely subjective.

For me, this blog represents creation; the Hub represents curation, a very different thing. Even though I create new content to post every day, what I’m actually doing is curating the content I believe to be of value to other filmmakers and people who work in film. The content itself – the lessons, the examples, the information – is all created by the hugely talented people whose blogs, websites and newsletters I read every day.

So what is creation? For me, creation is about intent. Creation is about originating something that serves a purpose. It doesn’t have to be a higher purpose. It doesn’t even have to be a purpose that matters to anyone else. When I first started blogging, I wrote entirely for myself, to motivate me and to explore my life and my feelings. That’s a purpose. That’s creation.

By that definition, I suppose the Hub does represent that. So why doesn’t it feel that way?

What’s your definition of creation? Is it word-count, impact, intention? Or is it more ethereal, more intangible?

As a freelancer making films, working with social media clients and running a successful indie film website, things can sometimes get on top of you, hence the lack of blog posts here in the last couple of weeks.

Far from being an excuse, it’s a point worth noting that sometimes it’s OK to take some time away. I’ve talked before about how focusing on something new can be refreshing, and also about the good points and bad points of taking a break from your blogging – and work – routine.

If you’re working as a freelancer there will be times when your workload swamps what you do and writing a blog seems like the last thing you want to do. Companies have a huge advantage over individuals in having people to delegate blogging duties to when the primary blogger is away1.

What I failed to do (and will rectify over the next few days) is to build up a catalogue of pre-written posts to put up when I don’t have time to dedicate to writing a new post every day. By marking out a posting calendar and making sure there are always posts in the bank, freelancers and individual bloggers can make sure they’re never away from their post for too long.

Because we all need a break from time to time and it’s good to get away (as evidenced by my three days in Durham for a charity event this week), don’t let yourself fall into the trap of feeling you must always be “in the office”.

1. Indeed, if you’re an organisation with more than a couple of employees or partners you should make sure everyone understands the needs of your blog so you can step in [↩]

Many of us have had a taste of success. Some of us dine on it frequently, for others it’s a rare treat. What it does is to help us all feel like we’re doing what we should be in life.

Too often, though, we define ourselves by how we feel. We even decline things by saying, “I just don’t feel like it today” – we put so much stock in feelings that we don’t stop to look at what and who we actually are.

This quote got me thinking:

It’s not about feeling like a filmmaker, it’s about being a filmmaker.

Drake Doremus, The Wrap

Doremus is talking about filmmaking and how it’s better to shoot for a lower target budget in order to be able to make films as opposed to holding out for the mega-budget and never actually making anything. It’s also about how the trappings of a “big” production don’t make the film, it’s the kit, the crew and the cast who make a film what it is.

It’s time for us all to stop chasing the “feel” and start “being” what we want to be – filmmakers, entrepreneurs, writers, artists; we all have goals and we all want to achieve them, but if we set about doing the things we need to do to get there, no matter what, we’ll arrive and find success much quicker than doing all the things that make us “feel” like we think we ought to.

I’ve been so bogged down in various admin- and office-based tasks in the last week or so1 that my creativity has taken a bit of a dip.

Yesterday, however, I scouting the location for a promo shoot with the client and talked through the various bits and pieces we needed to get organised. By going through the creative process again, my creative brain has reawakened and hit the ground running will full force.

Unfortunately, it seems as though I have far too many ideas for the amount of time I have on my hands, which means my desk is now positively littered with scraps of paper with my mind-overspill all over them.

This is why it’s so important for anyone dealing with creativity in their job (which, frankly, should be everyone) to have pads and post-its around to keep track of all those great ideas that pop up. Don’t rely on your over-extended internal memory banks to keep tabs on everything for you.

1. not least the highly successful launch of the Indie Film Hub [↩]

Inspiration comes from many quarters all around us. Sometimes it’s something we see, sometimes something we here. A lot of times for me it’s things I read.

I’ve written previously about Seth Godin and his new book ‘Poke the Box’. After reading the free eBook SXSW Pokes, I immediately downloaded the Kindle version of the full book and read it quicker than I’ve read most things before.

Poke The Box is all about starting, initiating, changing the status quo without fear of failure. Reading it struck a chord with me. Not only had I decided to give up fear for lent, but I was also living a more fearless life, committing myself to things and driving myself forward in several areas of my life, albeit slowly.

While going through my RSS feed one day, I wondered if it wouldn’t be nicer to have a single place on the ‘net that collects all of the best content, particularly for filmmakers. There’s Hollywood Wiretap – a great site for news on big studio movies – but nothing really similar for blog posts and articles that are aimed at, written by and for the benefit of independent filmmakers.

TheIndieFilmHub.com was born in mere moments and, no sooner had the idea come to me than I had set about making it happen. This project, which launched yesterday, is my poke at the box, my attempt to get something shipped when other projects and ideas have been stagnating or not progressing as quickly as I’d have liked.

The Indie Film Hub is a place indie filmmakers can go to find the best, most useful, most relevant and entertaining content on the web, all personally curated. Every post on the site is hand-picked by a real, genuine human being – no bots, no aggregators, no automation whatsoever.

I hope, in time, it will become a great resource for filmmakers and be the first stop on their hunt for content. But if not, at least I started something. At least I poked the box.