You would have thought after all these years, including two-and-a-half on the waiting list for my transplant, that I was used to the little bumps in the road that we all come across.
Turns out I’m not.
Last week I went along to my usual transplant clinic for my 4-year annual review1 and the team there noticed that my lung function had dropped a smidge. Just a little, but close enough to the 10% margin of error than they would have liked.
On Monday this week, I was admitted for 2 days of tests and, happily, discharged on Wednesday with a clean bill of health.
In the grand scheme of things this is a very, very minor hiccup, but it has thrown me more than I expected it to. I feel suddenly insecure, unsure and concerned about the future. Have I been pushing myself too hard, do I need more rest, am I still far more vulnerable than I thought?
The answer to all of these is probably yes, but I’m sure a huge part of this is just continually learning to take the rough with the smooth and plan for these kind of troubles in everyday life as much as I can.
Right now, I don’t know what the immediate future holds for work, life and my work/life balance, but I do know that I’m going to be readjusting. But then, that’s something I think we should all be doing on a regular basis anyway.
- I know, I can’t believe it’s been nearly 4 years, either [↩]