MUCH better day today, as I was sure it would be. Well, semi-sure.
But my body’s been decidedly responsive and I’ve managed to pass through an entire day with remarkably high energy-levels and not very much in the way of breathless episodes and other nastiness.
I slept pretty well, which is always a good start, and didn’t lie in bed too long this morning, which is something I’m increasingly persuaded is a bad thing in terms of momentum for the day.
This afternoon I ran K over to an appointment in Northampton and used the spare time to visit Suze, my partner in crime from MKT, from where I’ve sadly been completely AWOL for the entire term. It was good to hear that all the work they’ve been doing is going fabulously well and that plans for the show in April are really rolling along.
I’m desperate to get back there and get my creative juices flowing again. The workshops really energise me – working with kids and young people is so inspiring because of the way they see things and tackle problems.
One of the things I always fall back on when I tell people how great it is doing what I do is how much we can learn from children. The most important thing in a 6 year-old’s life is whatever they happen to be doing at that moment in time, and that’s absolutely the way that we should all live out lives.
The trouble is as we get older, other stresses and worries crowd in and take over the freedom and innocence we enjoy as children and everything becomes more complicated. But working with the younger groups at MKT has really helped me keep in touch with the old adage of living every day – and moment – for what it is, not what it could, should or has been.
The older groups at MKT simply serve to drive me forward creatively. There’s nothing so powerfully motivating than seeing a group of people you’ve worked with for a long time learning and growing and expanding their experiences and outlooks on life, and to be challenged in your beliefs and understanding of the things around you.
They push me to better understand myself and my ideas and to make sense of what I’m trying to communicate, to them or an audience or anyone else.
And working with Suzanne has given me the opportunity to be involved in a whole load of things in a whole load of capacities that I never would have had chance to do were it not for her faith and trust in me and what I can (or can’t) do.
Needless to say, I miss it mightily and I’m yearning to go back. What’s fantastic about today is that having spoken to Suze and caught up on life, the universe and everything (sorry about the house!) it’s helped me to remember just how much I do want to still be part of what’s happening and it’s making me more determined than ever to get a grip on what my body’s doing and learn to play it properly so I can get myself back into sessions, even if it’s only for a couple of hours a week.
So today has also proved to myself that although bad days come along once in a while, but that they will always pass and be replaced by a good day. I’m lucky in that it’s turned around quickly this time, but even in the blackest of nights it’s important to remember that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel – and you know you’re going to get there in the end.
Here’s to April.
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