Traditionally, for my family at least, Easter has been a family-focused time – a chance for the four of us (plus significant others) to get back together for a weekend and catch up. Since I’ve moved out of home, it’s always been a weekend I’ve returned to Mum and Dad’s for the large majority of to sit and talk and eat and drink.

This year was, by necessity, pretty different, able as I am to manage no more than a few hours of doing anything other than sitting quietly on a sofa or in bed. It’s been pretty tough to have to force myself to ignore my instincts and natural predisposition to surround myself with family and instead make sure that I conserve the little eenergy I have into doing the most important parts of the weekend.

Those were, by turns, a family photoshoot (it having been nearly a decade since the last one and Mum was obviously getting itchy for some new smileys on her wall), a family dinner on Saturday evening to celebrate Easter an my bro’s passing his Commando course, then Easter Sunday spreading our time between our two family’s respectively, spending an hour or so with each trying to avoid exhausting myself.

I can’t say it’s been my best Easter – being limited to only doing what you can manage without making your chest scream at you is hardly a resounding indicator of a brilliant time for all, but I think we’ve managed to make the best of a bad lot and enjoy what we could of the weekend. And after all, time spent with loved ones should always be about quality not quantity – right?

Today has been a different story all together. I was pretty tired last night – a step up from exhausted but still struggling – and hit the sack pretty early, only to be woken after a couple of hours feeling tight and breathless and having to haul myself out of bed to do some physio and nebs.

What annoyed me more than anything, though, was that the whole thing woke me up and kept me up until gone half past three in the morning. By the time I finally fell asleep at 4am, I had just 2 hours till my alarm to get up and do my drugs, after which I managed little more than a fitful 30-40 minutes here and there until I finally gave up and got up just before 12.

As a result, I’ve spent the whole day completely wiped out and unable to consider doing anything at all, really. Mostly, I’ve been lying in bed and trying to relax and not focus on how completely shattered I am. I’ve not really succeeded, though.

My mind is pretty blank right now, if I’m honest – I’m struggling to find any words to string together today, mostly because I think all my cogniscent thoughts have migrated to sunnier climbs where sleep comes in glorious 8-hour stretches without interruption and leaves you feeling fresh, bright and alert.

Right now, I’m none of those things.

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