Archives: Life

Psychology Today ran this article last week suggesting that acknowledging other people’s unhappiness is the key to making them feel happier. Sounds odd – backwards, even – since our usual response to someone telling us they’re unhappy or stressed is to be positive and encourage them.

When you think about it, though, how annoying is it when you’re feeling gloomy and someone tells you to “cheer up”? It certainly doesn’t cheer you up, does it?

I’ve found, too, that when other people deny or ignore my feelings, I tend to keep repeating myself (i.e., whining), because I think my feelings haven’t registered.

Have you found that acknowledging bad feelings allows them to dissipate better?

Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project Blog (Psychology Today)

The full post is a fascinating read. Check it out.

Thanks to LifeHacker for tipping me to the post with their original link here.

This week I discovered the many pros and the major curse of staying regular.

Since re-branding my blog ((and myself, to a certain extent)), I’ve been blogging to a steady schedule of Monday, Wednesday, Friday for new, authored content, with Pick of the Web linked-content on a Tuesday and Thursday.

Last week, I didn’t blog on Thursday and Friday as I was busy taking stock of things in my life. In those two days, my readership on the blog halved. Just three days when the blog was devoid of new content.

But worse than that, it’s stayed at a lower ebb and is only now (after 3 days back on the regular schedule) starting to pick back up towards its previous numbers.

Blogging regularly is great in terms of building an audience; if people know when you’re posting, they know when to come looking and they know what to expect from your blog. But beware of committing yourself to a schedule of posts you can’t sustain.

Much better to follow a simple, one-post-a-week formula (such as that employed brilliantly by Clive Davies-Frayne on Film Utopia), than it is to attempt daily posts that you can’t keep up, or to release new blog content in a scattershot manner whenever you feel like or are able to write it.

Work out what you can realistically achieve, define your schedule and stick to it. Staying regular is the key to creating value for the people who read your blog as religiously as you write it.

Sometimes things run smoothly and beautifully and you feel like there’s a little monkey automatically greasing your wheels as you trundle along without having to think about it.

Sometimes you discover that the monkey’s been somewhat lackadaisical in its commitment to keeping the running smooth and things start to crunch and grind and slow you to a halt.

At times like these, it’s important to take a couple of days to pause and reflect on why things feel that way. While the answers may not always be simple, you’re always better to face them head-on than try to ignore them and plough on regardless.

Sooner or later, that monkey’s going to bite you in the butt. Pay attention, take regular stock and be honest with yourself and you’ll be able to get out of the way before it really sinks its teeth in.

For years the iconic sports brand have been telling us to ‘Just Do It‘. It works as a slogan because it’s short, it’s snappy and it’s easy to remember.

It also works because it’s true; the single best way to make anything happen is just to do it.

If you’re sitting around thinking of all the things you ought to be doing, you’ll never get anywhere. If there’s something to be done just get up and get on with it. The sooner you do, the sooner it’ll be done and you can get back to the other tasks on your To Do list ((or just chilling out)).

Even when it comes to big things, although you made need to break them down into smaller, more achievable chunks, you start down the road by simply taking that first step.

Yesterday, after much delay and dilly-dallying, I finally committed myself to attacking the 3 Peaks Challenge later this year. How? I contacted a journalist friend at my local paper and got them to run this piece on me to help me find a trainer.

Not only will I hopefully get some expert supervision and advice, but I’ve also announced the trip to the world in a way that will keep me honest, make me stick to my goals and motivate me to achieve what I’ve set out to do.

Expect more on the 3 Peaks and my journey towards it in the coming weeks. But, right now, what are you doing to “just do” today”?

My most productive periods tend to be first thing in the morning and late afternoon/early evening ((although I have to say, when I’m writing I’m rather prone to pulling hyper-productive all-nighters)). I suffer terribly – like many people – with a post-lunch/early afternoon slump.

Having battled it, ignored it, slept through it, worked through it and, frequently, failed to do anything with it, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to beat the slump is to embrace it.

Whenever your slump may come, using it wisely is the key to keeping productive all day. My slump is spent catching up on the blogs and websites that I like to read every day, a bit of conversation on Twitter and back-and-forthing on Facebook.

Finding something that’s useful and productive as well as being light on the brain is key to avoiding the loss of two hours of your day to your dip.

Last night I was invited to K’s uncle’s Rotary Club meeting to give an after dinner speech about Cystic Fibrosis and transplant/organ donation ((most of you will be familiar with my own transplant story from my SmileThroughIt journal)).

I have to confess I’ve been so swept up in work the last couple of weeks I hadn’t actually taken any time to prepare what I was going to say. It’s not difficult to tell my story off-the-cuff, but I usually like to have a rough game plan.

What I love about being unprepared, though, is what crops up from the proverbial blue when I’m winging it.

Last night I found myself saying this:

We all learn very early on that life’s not fair.

It’s not fair that anyone should have to go through what I’ve been through; it’s not fair for a 28-year-old to have been to as many friends’ funerals as I have; it’s not fair that a friend of mine has waited 2 years longer than I did for a transplant that still hasn’t come and is on the verge of giving up altogether.

By signing the Organ Donor Register you may not feel like you’ve done very much, but you will have taken a very, very small but very, very important step towards making life that little bit fairer for the people who are waiting [for transplants] and the families who love them, support them and don’t want to lose them when there’s a simple solution.

There’s an old army adage known as the 6 P’s that tells us “Proper Preparation Prevents P*** Poor Performance”. Yet sometimes – just sometimes – lack of preparation can lead to inspiration, to creativity and to an outcome you’d not considered.

I spoke at the Rotary Club of Harrow because I wanted to help spread the word about how life-transforming organ donation and transplantation can be. I walked away with several pledges to sign up and nearly £300 in donations for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Sometimes lack of preparation pays off.

(Now, if you haven’t already, go here and sign the Organ Donor Register!)

I heard someone yesterday say that the most important thing in starting a project is making the decision to do it. I beg to differ.

We frequently make decisions and resolve to start things that we don’t see through, just see my pair posts about Mondays (Don’t Start on Monday and Why I’m Right). How many times have you heard someone is starting their diet, stopping smoking, beginning a new health kick, but they’re always doing it “next week” or “on Monday”?

Committing to starting a project is the most important step. Once you’ve committed – be it public or private ((although we all know that doing it publicly makes you far more accountable, even if it’s only to your friends)) – you’ve taken the first step towards making it happen.

Don’t sit back and relax in the knowledge that you’ve decided to do something so therefore it will happen; unless you fully commit, it simply won’t.

I posted on Friday that you shouldn’t start anything on a Monday because it’s generally a mess of doing things other than those on your To Do’s.

Case in point: today I knew I had all morning taken up with a schools project I’m working on at the moment, then a meeting in MK at 3pm and one immediately afterwards.  I knew I had a couple of hours in the middle, so I’d scheduled some time to make some calls and catch up on the weekend email.

It’s now 8.45pm and I’ve not only haven’t I made any of the calls, answered (or even read in detail) any email and, which is even more of a crime ((in my mind, anyway, INCEPTION-style)), is the fact that I’m only just getting around to my Monday blog post.

So, in an odd sort of way, what I’ve achieved today is prove myself 100% right. Sometimes it’s no fun being right.

When we take on new things – from launching a new project to starting a new health kick – we almost universally choose to kick off “on Monday”.

Monday is convenient because it’s the start of the week and we imagine we’ll be as fresh as a daisy and raring to go.

Ask around, though, and general wisdom will suggest people hate Mondays ((try Googling ‘Monday’ and see how many of the results are positive)). Why choose to start something fresh and exciting on such an energy-draining day?

If you genuinely want to start something new, start it today. Or Wednesday. Or Tuesday. Or any day of the week that will allow you to start with a bang. Don’t put it off ’til Monday.

Recently re-reading Robert Rodriguez‘s REBEL WITHOUT A CREW, the story of the making of EL MARIACHI and a filmmaking career, I came across this quote:

Low-budget movies put a wall in front of you and only creativity will allow you to figure out how to get around that wall. The less money and/or resources you have, the more you are forced to be creative.

And what is a movie anyway? A completely creative endeavour. Anything you can do to get away from the things that aren’t important, the better chance you have of being truly creative.

Robert Rodriguez, Rebel Without A Crew

Love him or hate him, we could all learn a little about creativity from Rodriguez.

Creativity isn’t about the money, the resources or the box office draw; it’s about telling the stories you want to tell in any way you can tell them, even if it’s not what you originally envisioned for them.

Exercise your creative muscles and get your project made, however you can. Finding your own way around that wall will harness the true power of your own creativity. And who knows, it may just unlock the doors to the studios.