As steps go, it's difficult to know whether this is backwards or in the right
direction.

As I sit here on the ward in oxford looking at the plain white walls and
interestingly green doors, I realise it's a bit of half-full/half-empty kind of
moment.

My instinct is telling me that after convincing myself I'd dealt with the virus
and kept it off my chest for the last 5 days, it's a bit of a massive step back
to find myself not only incarcerated, but also missing more work and rehearsals
for the activ8 show.

But my sensible, well-perspective'd head tells me that no matter what I'd
managed to convince myself, my chest wasn't what it should be and if I want to
be in any state to enjoy the show itself or to carry on with any of the projects
I so enthusiastically outlined not so long ago, then I need a stay at the doc's
pleasure to set me back on the right track.

Still, it doesn't take away from the fact that this weekend I'll be missing not
only the second mate's birthday celebration in the space of 8 days, but also the
Christening of a really good friends first child. You can be as upbeat as you
like about missing things for the betterment of your health and ignore birthdays
as repetitive annual events, but missing a once in a lifetime ceremony to
welcome a child into the Kingdom of God just plain sucks.

There's nothing I can do about it, though, so I suppose getting stressed or
moping about it is fairly pointless. After all, I would much rather be round to
see several more significant birthdays in her life than make it to a Christening
and not see her 1st.

It's all a matte of perspective, which at times like these can be hard to come
by. Much as you search for the better angle, it's frequently masked by the
obstacles in the way or the apparent unfairness of life.

I'm determined not to be dragged into a mire of negative thought. I know that
the next few days are going to be tough and the weekend especially so, but I
know i've got the resources to see me through both within me and around me in my
wonderful family and fantastic friends.

Just knowing that there are people out there thinking of you, rooting for you
and praying for you makes such a massive difference. So don't stop now - I need
you to shout your loudest!

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